As part of my recovery from depression, Adam and I sat down and made of the sacrifices he would like me to make. (At my most depressed, I was making many unnecessary sacrifices for him because I thought my needs were unimportant.) We came up with a list of five real needs that I can meet by giving something up–whether it’s time, privacy, or control. That way a sacrifice is a selfless gesture oriented around his needs, instead of a self-centered gesture focused on my thoughts and feelings. Read the rest of this entry
Tag Archives: husband
Men are notoriously difficult to buy for. And nothing stings quite like a beloved’s look of apathy (disappointment!) when he unwraps what you thought was the perfect present. In search of answers, I sought out advice from my “informal panel of men.” With their help, I present three general principles for giving gifts to men and a few ideas to get you started. Read the rest of this entry
Adam and I have only been married three years, but we’ve known each other for a long time. (A third of my life!) I’ve always thought about him first as a man who is analytical and thoughtful, a sort of absent-minded-professor character. But when some of my own self-explorations showed me parts of me I didn’t know were there, I began to wonder: What if there is more to Adam than I am allowing myself to see? An exercise on a recent couple’s retreat helped me see past my preconceptions about Adam and accept him for all of who he really is. Read the rest of this entry
Being a parent is harder than it looks. The added responsibilities are hard enough, especially when balanced with marriage, homemanagement, and work. But the real challenge comes from all the little sacrifices we make every day, each moment we have to choose someone else’s needs over our own.
Fortunately, it doesn’t take much to make the difficult habit of self-giving a little easier for your husband. In informal panel of men suggests that, by keeping these 10, simple ideas in mind, you can help your husband be the dad he wants to be. Read the rest of this entry
My gentle, understanding husband had suddenly become grouchy and irritable. Instead of helping him, all I could think to do was nag him to tell me what was wrong. Because we were saving up for a down payment on a house, we didn’t go out together often.
We worked. We ate. We went to bed.
No wonder our marriage was running into trouble. We barely ever talked to each other!