While it’s always important to keep a sense of balance and perspective about the way we dispose of our resources, feeling confident about yourself is a priority.
Why Dressing to Flatter Isn’t Self-Indulgent
Women, especially moms, have a tendency to martyr ourselves to others’ needs. But self-sacrifice only works when you have a self to give from. Making yourself a priority for just a few minutes each day gives you the energy to keep doing things for those you love.
Does a make-over still sound self-indulgent? Consider that, although many men won’t admit it or openly talk to their partners about it, being with a woman who takes care of herself makes them feel respected and loved. Or that the way you act toward your body sends a subtle but powerful message to your kids. For example, children of dieters are more likely to struggle with their own body images as teenagers and adults. You have to model self-respect if you want your children to develop it. Taking care of yourself is important to your family’s well-being, as well as to your own.
You’re Worth It!
So how do you make your make-over a reality?
- Tell yourself that you’re worth it. You are a valuable person with valid needs and desires. You are worth an investment in yourself. If self-affirmation doesn’t work, remind yourself that your partner really is proud to show you off and that a confident mother is a wonderful asset to her children.
- Give yourself permission. Even if you are a stay-at-home mom or if, as in our family, your husband’s salary is significantly higher than yours, your do you fair share. You have an obligation to be a good steward of your family’s money, but you are a part of the family, too. Don’t get caught up thinking that you’re wasting “your husband’s” money on yourself. As long as you spend responsibly, your investing family assets in a more beautiful, confident, and happy wife and mother.
- Prioritize. What makes you feel the most like a woman? Maybe it’s a feminine wardrobe, or carefully applied make-up. Choose whatever is most important to you. Make time for that one important thing. You may be surprised how quickly you want to invest more into yourself. Or you may find that the simple act of putting on a skirt instead of sweats dramatically improves your self-image.
- Talk to your family. Have frank conversations with your husband and kids. Explain to them why your appearance is not only important to you, but that it will make you a better wife and mom as well. Ask for their help. Try something like, “Honey, I could look more like the beautiful, young woman you married if you looked after the kids for ten minutes each morning. while I put on make-up” Or, “It is very important to Mommy that she feels pretty and special. She will be happy to play with you in a few minutes when she’s finished drying her hair.” (Who knows? Your children may even want to get in on the make-up action. I found Thomas in my room last week with carefully and correctly applied eyebrow shaper!)
Do you think you’re worth it? Is a make-over self-indulgent? Let us know in the comments.