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Category Archives: Sensitive

How to Talk to a Loved One about Depression

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Spiritual Assistance by H. Grobe

When someone we love is suffering, we want to help. But when he or she is suffering from a mental illness, that help can be hard to give.

Depression alters a person’s sense of reality and makes other people’s perceptions difficult to believe. Read the rest of this entry

5 Things to Say Instead of I’m Sorry

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Mary Magdalen in Penitence by El Greco
This post is a follow-up from our Month of Self-Reflection.

I am a chronic apologizer.

Because I suffer from depression, I often apologize because I think I am genuinely at fault. I want to accept responsibility for all the bad things that happen.

But even I have to recognize that sometimes things aren’t my fault. And some things that are my fault just aren’t a big deal. Everyone makes little mistakes. Bad things just happen. Read the rest of this entry

The 5 Gifts He Actually Wants

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A Favor by Edmund LeightonSelf-sacrifice isn’t easy, especially because a giving attitude is only half the battle. It doesn’t matter how much we want to give if we can’t identify what to give and when to give it.

As part of my recovery from depression, Adam and I sat down and made of the sacrifices he would like me to make. (At my most depressed, I was making many unnecessary sacrifices for him because I thought my needs were unimportant.) We came up with a list of five real needs that I can meet by giving something up–whether it’s time, privacy, or control. That way a sacrifice is a selfless gesture oriented around his needs, instead of a self-centered gesture focused on my thoughts and feelings. Read the rest of this entry

25 Gifts That Don’t Cost a Dime

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Christmas Morning by J. ClarkWhen I was at my most anxious, I drove like a mad woman, weaving back and forth to get to the front of the line of traffic. I rushed to the shortest line at the grocery store. And I made sure no one ever made it to a parking place before I did. After all, my time was valuable and my needs were important. Read the rest of this entry

Twelve Months to a Better Woman: A Month of Self-Giving

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givingI spent January thinking about taking care of myself and February rediscovering who I am. I’m ready to turn my attention away from myself and toward others.  It’s all part of my Twelve Months to a Better Woman project.

In my experience, generosity isn’t nearly so hard as knowing when, where, and what to give. I’m often willing to share my time, resources, or wisdom, but if others don’t need what I have to offer, I’m not really giving them a gift at all. So this month I’ll focus as much on on seeing others’ true needs as on meeting them with a positive attitude and open heart.

You can look forward to posts about giving yourself to your partner, different ways to make giving a habit, and people who have found their own unique ways to give to others. Read the rest of this entry

How to Show a Man That You Are Not Interested

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When I was in high school, there were a few guys I dated on and off. They were good guys, and I was flattered by their attentions, but I wasn’t really attracted to them. I tried to show them I wasn’t interested, but they just didn’t get the hint.

Several readers of an earlier post, How to Show a Man That You Are Interested without Giving Him the Wrong Idea, have recently asked me how to show him you aren’t interested. I never really learned the answer myself while I was still dating, so I took the question to my informal panel of men. Their answers might surprise you. Read the rest of this entry

Is He the One? 6 Conversations to Have before You Say “I Do”

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Did you know that the same small handful of issues cause the majority of divorces? When we’re dating, it’s often easy to gloss over issues like communication, finances, sexual intimacy, and child-rearing because we want to avoid conflict and hurt feelings. But by having these six conversations before you walk down the aisle, you can protect your marriage and start out on a solid foundation. Read the rest of this entry

Better Understand Your Man

Adam and I have only been married three years, but we’ve known each other for a long time. (A third of my life!) I’ve always thought about him first as a man who is analytical and thoughtful, a sort of absent-minded-professor character. But when some of my own self-explorations showed me parts of me I didn’t know were there, I began to wonder: What if there is more to Adam than I am allowing myself to see? An exercise on a recent couple’s retreat helped me see past my preconceptions about Adam and accept him for all of who he really is. Read the rest of this entry

10 Ways to Support a Friend with Depression

It is difficult to watch someone we love suffer without knowing how to help. When a friend’s parent dies, we bring a casserole. When she has been in a car accident, we pick her children up from school. But how to we help women who suffer from an invisible illness it is difficult to understand? Experimental Wifery brings you ten suggestions compiled from therapists, psychiatrists, and Alison’s own experience on the giving and receiving end of a supportive friendship for someone with depression. Read the rest of this entry

Just Not That Into Him? Take Another Look

“I had not known you a month before I felt that you were
the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed upon to marry.”
—Elizabeth Bennet, Pride & Prejudice

My friend Lucy worried a man of a different faith would frown on her beliefs. Lauren was waiting to feel just the right spark. And I swore I would never, ever marry a younger man. Yet, all three of us found love with the people we least expected when we learned to appreciate what was in front of us and give well-deserving guys a second chance.

Read more at Verily Magazine…