Author Archives: afsolove

How to Live without Shampoo

Posted on May 22, 2013 by afsolove

All my life, I’ve wondered about the personal hygiene of my favorite heroines. How often did Anne of Green bathe? When did Jo March wash her hair? I couldn’t believe that all of my favorite characters were dirty and greasy all of the time.

It turns out that millennia of women washed less often than we do in part because they didn’t have to wash so often. In fact, the more often we wash our hair, the more often we have to. It’s like an addiction. And, once I found out I was addicted, I wanted to sober up.

That’s why I’ve gone “no poo.” Read the rest of this entry →

8 Comments

Posted in Sharp and tagged beauty, budget, eco-friendly, green, health, no poo, shampoo. Bookmark the permalink.

How to Budget Smarter

Posted on May 20, 2013 by afsolove

About a year ago, I posted Why a Family Budget Is “Woman’s Work.” It was one of my most popular posts. I still believe that a woman is in a unique position to manage her family’s finances. (I do make most of the family purchases, after all.) But I’ve recently discovered a better way to take care of our family’s resources.

When I wrote the original post, Mint was the best personal finance software I could find. I budgeted every month. Mint automatically imported my purchases.

With Mint, I always knew where my money was going. But it wasn’t always going where I wanted it to. Mint left me with a lot of difficult questions. Read the rest of this entry →

I’m Back… and I’m Dropping “Twelve Months to a Better Woman”

Posted on May 18, 2013 by afsolove

Loyal readers may have noticed that I haven’t posted in a few weeks. You may also have noticed that my three posts a week have gradually dwindled over the past few months. I just wasn’t interested anymore.

I wasn’t interested because I’d lost sight of what this blog is supposed to be about.

When I started the project, I thought I could decide in advance what sorts of things would make me a better woman. That I could outline a course of twelve skills to learn or develop to improve myself.

But holding to a steady course isn’t what Experimental Wifery is about. Read the rest of this entry →

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Posted in Skilled. Bookmark the permalink.

Why Everyday Politeness Is One of the Best Gifts of All, Part One

Posted on March 29, 2013 by afsolove

During the Month of Self-Giving, I’ve put a lot of thought into the gifts that really matter–the acts of sacrifice that really change us.

For example, when I give make my husband an elaborate brunch (one of his favorite treats), I often expect some relaxation time in return. Even though I’ve worked hard and given him something he really enjoys, I haven’t really made myself more generous spirited. How do I go from doing something generous to being a generous person, who makes sacrifices for others without thinking about them and without feeling self-righteous or resentful?

I want to strengthen the virtue of generosity within myself. Read the rest of this entry →

3 Comments

Posted in Smart and tagged Aristotle, emily post, etiquette, george washington, manners, moral philosophy, morals, politics, religion, society, virtue, virtue theory. Bookmark the permalink.

How to Choose the Right Charity

Posted on March 20, 2013 by afsolove

Every year, Americans donate almost $350 billion to charities. But it is difficult to know where that money goes. Some charities are notorious for spending large percentages on donations on operating expenses. Some charities, no matter how well-meaning, simply don’t do much good. And, in the worst cases, some charities actually undermine the causes many of their donors mean to champion.

If we value giving to charity, how can we be sure our money is being well-spent on causes we support?

Read the rest of this entry →

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Posted in Savvy and tagged charity, current-events, donations, environment, giving, non-profits, politics. Bookmark the permalink.

How to Talk to a Loved One about Depression

Posted on March 18, 2013 by afsolove

When someone we love is suffering, we want to help. But when he or she is suffering from a mental illness, that help can be hard to give.

Depression alters a person’s sense of reality and makes other people’s perceptions difficult to believe. Read the rest of this entry →

5 Things to Say Instead of I’m Sorry

Posted on March 13, 2013 by afsolove

This post is a follow-up from our Month of Self-Reflection.

∴

I am a chronic apologizer.

Because I suffer from depression, I often apologize because I think I am genuinely at fault. I want to accept responsibility for all the bad things that happen.

But even I have to recognize that sometimes things aren’t my fault. And some things that are my fault just aren’t a big deal. Everyone makes little mistakes. Bad things just happen. Read the rest of this entry →

4 Comments

Posted in Sensitive and tagged apology, I'm sorry, mental health, opinion, self-reflection. Bookmark the permalink.

The 5 Gifts He Actually Wants

Posted on March 11, 2013 by afsolove

Self-sacrifice isn’t easy, especially because a giving attitude is only half the battle. It doesn’t matter how much we want to give if we can’t identify what to give and when to give it.

As part of my recovery from depression, Adam and I sat down and made of the sacrifices he would like me to make. (At my most depressed, I was making many unnecessary sacrifices for him because I thought my needs were unimportant.) We came up with a list of five real needs that I can meet by giving something up–whether it’s time, privacy, or control. That way a sacrifice is a selfless gesture oriented around his needs, instead of a self-centered gesture focused on my thoughts and feelings. Read the rest of this entry →

1 Comment

Posted in Sensitive and tagged couples' therapy, gift ideas, gifts, husband, lent, marriage, relationships, self-giving, society. Bookmark the permalink.

25 Gifts That Don’t Cost a Dime

Posted on March 6, 2013 by afsolove

When I was at my most anxious, I drove like a mad woman, weaving back and forth to get to the front of the line of traffic. I rushed to the shortest line at the grocery store. And I made sure no one ever made it to a parking place before I did. After all, my time was valuable and my needs were important. Read the rest of this entry →

4 Comments

Posted in Sensitive and tagged charity, giving, homeless, lent, letter to a friend, sacrifice, sick friend. Bookmark the permalink.

I Love What I Do: Volunteer EMT

Posted on March 4, 2013 by afsolove

“I Love What I Do!” We interview women who find creative work that makes them feel fulfilled without sacrificing their personal or family lives. They’ll share what their jobs are really like and how other women can find something they love to do.

Linda, a volunteer emergency medical technician, describes the excitement and drama dealing with medical emergencies. She shares with us what it is like to balance volunteering with her family life and why she spends her free time saving lives. Read the rest of this entry →

Experimental Wifery

Author Archives: afsolove

How to Live without Shampoo

How to Budget Smarter

I’m Back… and I’m Dropping “Twelve Months to a Better Woman”

Why Everyday Politeness Is One of the Best Gifts of All, Part One

How to Choose the Right Charity

How to Talk to a Loved One about Depression

5 Things to Say Instead of I’m Sorry

The 5 Gifts He Actually Wants

25 Gifts That Don’t Cost a Dime

I Love What I Do: Volunteer EMT

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